May 14, 2012
I just really want to see you.

Fuck.

April 27, 2012
Sigh.

I thought they went away. I thought it was nothing.

And for a while, it was nothing. I went months not thinking about it. About me. About you. I went months convincing myself I was being too rash, too impulsive, too absurd.

But then, the hurricane.

She told me that you talk about me. Nice things. Sweet things. It made me smile.

It made me smile because, even for a little bit, you thought about me.

And now and then, I think about you, too. Your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh.

You.

I know it’s not meant to be. I’ve known that from the start. I know there’s no chance of us being anything more than what we have. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts and the smiles. That doesn’t stop me from wondering what it would be like to kiss you.

Isn’t it funny though? I thought I hated you. Well, I thought I really disliked you. I thought you were a jerk. People told me things about you: manipulative, a liar, shady. And I believed it.

At least, until we became friends.

When you said, “Yeah, you and me, we’re friends now.”

Friends?

Yeah, friends.

I can live with that.